A very important topic that young children need to know about is touching. Touch can be a way of showing love, friendship and affection. But it is important to know the difference between good touches and bad touches.

What is good touch?

Good touch is touch that makes us feel safe and happy. It is touch from people we trust and love. Here are some examples of good touch:

1. Hugs from parents, grandparents or close friends.
2. Kisses on the cheek from family.
3. Handshakes when we meet someone new.
4. Encouraging pats on the back after we’ve done something well.
5. Gentle strokes in appropriate areas (on the head or back) when we’re sad or hurt and someone we trust is trying to comfort us.

These touches make us feel appreciated and loved by those around us.

What are bad touches?

Bad touches are those that make us feel uncomfortable, scared or unhappy. These are touches that are inappropriate and make us feel awkward. It’s important to know that nobody has the right to touch you in a way that makes you feel bad. Here are some examples of bad touches:

1. Touching your private parts, such as the areas covered by a swimsuit, without your permission. These are touches that should never happen, unless they are necessary to help you wash or receive medical care, and should only be allowed by someone you trust.
2. Pushing or hitting that is intended to hurt you or frighten you.
3. Forced hugs when you do not want to be hugged.
4. When someone touches you and makes you feel embarrassed or confused, even if it seems playful or a joke to the other person.

How can we recognise inappropriate touching?

Inappropriate touching can sometimes be hard to recognise, especially if it comes from someone you know. If a touch makes you feel uneasy, causes you discomfort or pain, it’s a sign that it’s not okay. You always have the right to trust your instincts and protect yourself.

What should you do if someone touches you in a way you don’t like?

1. Say ‘No!’ – It’s important to use your voice and make it clear that you don’t like what’s happening. You can say ‘No!’, ‘Stop!’ or ‘Don’t touch me!’
2. Talk to a trusted adult! – Tell a parent, a teacher, an older sibling or any adult you trust about what has happened. It’s important to talk about it, even if you feel embarrassed or scared. The people around you are there to protect and help you.
3. Get away from that person – If you feel uncomfortable or in danger, try to leave as quickly as possible. Look for a safe place to go, such as where there are other children.
4. Don’t feel guilty or ashamed – if someone has touched you in a way you didn’t like, it’s never your fault. It’s very important to remember this.

Remember: Your body belongs to you!

It’s very important to know that you’re in control of your own body. Nobody has the right to touch you without your permission, and you have every right to say ‘no’ whenever you don’t feel comfortable. It’s brave and right to speak up when something isn’t right.

Remember to always be mindful of how you feel and to speak to a trusted adult whenever you feel you need to. You are strong and you deserve to feel safe!

References:

Kidpower International, 2018. ‘Touch and Consent in Healthy Relationships’. Link: https://www.kidpower.org/library/article/consent/

Article by Ramona Cîrcu, activities coordinator